You should have killed me when you had the chance.
I wrestled bears and garnished my meals with the teeth of wolves.
Hardened my skin with lions paw’s and my mouth with silver spoons.
I walked through the steppe extending west,
Carrying my face around my neck.
Flora and needlegrass blemish the sand.
I met my ancestors on the most silent nights.
They led me to your body.
Guiding me towards the burning sun.
I charmed my way through villages, with hidden blades.
Stealing the keys of those who stood in my way.
Why, you ask?
Why take something that will never be mine?
No real abode, always drifting between time.
I reached Noyon.
It was there I found the one-eyed Ibex.
I approached him with blood-soaked fauna in my hands.
Arrows twisted my wrists and ankles, Making it impossible to stand.
Eyes wide open, we made an exchange.
He dissipated along with all my rage.
How I miss the eternal landscapes‘Land of fertile soil, the five grains that grow’Pressed in each of my fingers, thumbs, and toes.
I miss holding an arrow, flexing it towards Gateless Gate.
I miss counting my efforts instead of my mistakes.
Analysis and reflection
Have you ever felt like an outsider, wandering without a true sense of belonging?Here are some of my ideas to expand on its themes, motifs, or the overall style
The protagonist's feats "wrestled bears," "garnished my meals with the teeth of wolves". This idea evokes a character who is blending human experience with an animalistic connection to nature.
The Nomadic Heart: The references to time and traveling through the steppe and villages is rooted in ancient nomadic traditions, symbolising an ever-seeking, restless spirit. If you could meet an ancestor, what wisdom would you ask for?
For me, it was always about finding out the cultural messages passed down from generation to generation. There is something very transformative about this process.
Setting and Symbolism
The mention of the steppe, flora, and needlegrass paints a harsh but revered landscape. These elements are mostly found in the Eastern Hemisphere of the world (mountains and plateaus, with some of the world's highest countries elevation averaging 5,180 feet).
The setting is not just physically challenging but required spiritual resilience. Travelling across these lands would often require endurance and the ability to adapt to the unknown. I visit this later on in my analysis.
In this story, the One Eyed Ibex represents a guardian of ancient wisdom.
It was there I found the one-eyed Ibex.
I approached him with blood-soaked fauna in my hands.
Arrows twisted my wrists and ankles, Making it impossible to stand.
Eyes wide open, we made an exchange.
Here, the exchange with the ibex is the manifestation of the protagonist own primal instincts or past grievances. As some of you may know, I'm a huge fan of Ghibli, the scene that inspired this is from Princess Mononoke.
Memory and Legacy
Meeting ancestors on "the most silent nights" is an eerie yet comforting element, hinting at a theme of guidance from those who have passed. I have always believed that guidance spirits are harmless, and often hope to offer introspection instead of outward disruption.
Exile, rootlessness, and perhaps an eternal quest for belonging that isn’t confined to one place. So they appear as lanterns in the empty flat land guiding us to salvation.
The Final Exchange
The arrows piercing the protagonist is a metaphor of betrayal, judgment, or fate, which finally results in an exchange with the Ibex (inner-self), a release of rage, signalling the protagonist's possible catharsis. It’s as if the protagonist sacrifices or surrenders parts of themselves to achieve transformation.
We face obstacles everyday. Whether that's fining a sense of purpose or direction, or encounter self-doubt, and internal conflicts that keep us from progressing or making decisions.
This creature becomes a mirror of self, a symbolic barrier to overcome before moving forward. Similarly, facing and acknowledging our own inner battles can lead to growth and understanding.
Imagery and Language
The story ends with the"Gateless Gate," and “Land of fertile soil”. These two markers are intended to create an image of the forgotten land. I actually speak about the Gateless Gate in multiple creations. "The 7th Gate"
Here is a story story about it called "The 7th Gate"
(us the pro tip information tag here)
The concept of the Gateless Gate (or "無門關" / Mumonkan) is a key idea in Zen Buddhism, particularly within the Rinzai school.
The "Gateless Gate" refers to a collection of 48 koans, compiled in the 13th century by the Chinese Zen master Wumen Huikai. However, beyond the book itself, "gateless gate" represents an idea central to Zen thought: the paradox of attaining enlightenment by "passing through" something that, in reality, has no barrier or gate at all.
One of the most famous koans in Mumonkan is The sixth patriarch, Eno It goes like this:
"It is not the wind that moves, it is not the flag that moves, it is not the mind that moves"
Face Your “One-Eyed Ibex”
- Identify a limiting belief or recurring inner conflict that keeps resurfacing—perhaps something you avoid facing head-on. Write down this “Ibex” and, over the next week, observe when this belief or feeling arises and what triggers it.
- Hopefully you can find some inspiration in this story: Confronting our fears is never easy. Acknowledge these challenges as companions on your journey, viewing them not as barriers but as stepping stones toward a more authentic self.
